At the club Hyorin sat at her table tapping her foot to the beat of the music, with a flick of her wrist she downed what might have been her fifth shot though at this point she had no idea nor did she care. Maybe she could have been in good company with a model from her company or even one of the many men who had asked her out a few hours before, but she preferred being alone most people could not stand the rotten girl that she was inside. Picking up the bottle of soju she poured the last of the liquid fire into the glass. “One Shot!” She yelled gaining the attention of a close by table who joined in. “Excuse me!” She waved
Hearing the muffled sob being drowned out by the loud music. Hyorin’s curiosity over came her as she rose she stumbled a bit before finding the source of the cries. “I’m sorry.” She repeated in the same tone a drunken giggle escaped from her lips before sitting down next to where the girl hid. “And what are you sorry about?” She rested her elbows in the table peering into the glass holding the blue liquid.
Each sob came one after another until Hyeji couldn’t quite control her breathing any longer that she finally had to open her mouth and let the sound of her cries linger over the loud sound of the music. That was how painful she had always felt whenever she thought about how Kwon Jinsu took the blame on the misunderstanding she had caused at the maze. And then it turns out that he really had something to do with it but then again, he isn’t really that bad once you get to know him because he’s actually a gentleman and a lifesaver and she couldn’t understand why no one would give importance to her words and just- everything just went so bad when she’s already managed to take a peek at his soul.
Hyeji was too occupied with her thoughts that when a girl sat beside her, she just thought she looked familiar. Maybe she was really supposed to be there and so she blurted out- “I’m sorry about… the music, the travel, the blond hair, the knife, the blood, oh the blood…” with each word came a nod afterwards until, “and then the… the… eh. Do I know you?”
Paradiso. How odd that the word was supposed to mean Paradise but all she could feel was a painful stabbing in her heart, repeatedly hammering her mind with memories that she could only go back to. This is hell. Saturday night was presumed to be a fun night with her new girlfriends if only they didn’t turn down Hyeji’s request of light jamming and a few drinks at the new rising club. Minutes turned to hours and by the time she’s had enough with drinks, she thought she heard a familiar voice from the stage, doing what he’s best at doing. She could see images from four years ago. The handsome Kwon Jinsu on the stage, adored by Song Hyeji’s pair of eyes from the crowd. It only took that thought before the hurt that she’s been trying to hide sank down and occupied her.
“Kwon Jinsu, my dragon. I miss you. I miss you. I’m sorry,” she drunkenly cried out loud amidst the busy surrounding, abandoning the blue liquid on her table as she surrendered herself to loneliness.
@songhyeji: “Attended @yoohwannie’s dance recital last night. Look at those moves! Good job hwannie! I had fun last night! ^^”
Things end. But memories last forever.
It’s that time of the year when once in awhile, Song Hyeji goes back to Deoksugung Palace and hangs out. Only that this time, she was not here to have a chit-chat with the queen. With the letter that she made months ago on one hand and a blue cotton candy on the other, she carelessly walloped herself on the grass beneath her, and felt the heat of the sun kissed her skin. It isn’t so lonely when the sun is shining so bright. She smiled at the blue skies and white clouds, enveloping the place. What a nice scenery in this area full of memories! The garden behind the North Wing was where Seo Chaerin and Song Hyeji would hang out as kids while both were waiting for an opportunity to talk with their older siblings in the palace. Hyeji doesn’t know when their friendship has started, but she remember being awed by the sight of this lovely girl in her floral white dress, much like how her mom would dress her up. She’s always thought that Chaerin was a more little version of her that she had found it funny how they act almost similarly in most things. Are all the youngest in their own clans like this? Of course, Chaerin was braver in so many ways.
Last December, she expected that Go Sooyeon would have the initiative to pull her out of her hiding to visit Chaerin in the grave but to her disappointment, she couldn’t even get out of Busan. She didn’t know what was taking all of Sooyeon’s time. She thought that time heals all wounds. Was Sooyeon still mortified over what happened to their friend? But who was Hyeji to blame her when she too was busy with her own chase of happiness when Chaerin was still living. If she knew, if she only knew that all of this would happen, then maybe she could have spent more time, create more memories with the little Seo.
Hyeji gripped the letter from her side and bitterly, began reading its contents aloud.
Chaerin-ah,
Sometimes, I wonder if you ever go back here on earth and silently watch over us. It’s been three years. Is my math correct? Are you laughing at how everything changed so quickly? Do you remember when we were still young, our only problems were picking out the best ice cream flavor, if cotton candies were really made out of cotton, and if cherry blossoms were just pink because it didn’t reach the sky for it to turn white? I often laughed at how childish those things seem to be. You may say that I’m still the same but truthfully, circumstances changed me so much. I am much afraid now, scared of what’s gonna happen to me in the future. What if everything that I knew wasn’t really the way that they are? Just like you… I seriously thought I was going first! It’s unfair! And Sooyeon didn’t stay long too. She’s back at Busan. By any chance, did you happen to know that my life’s going to be like this? You must have asked god, or maybe seen our future. And you’re on my side, you’re going to tell me if ever, ne?
Chaerin, I miss you. More so when it snows. We always spent Christmas together but the holiday seems empty without your cheerful laugh. There’s no one to be clumsy with anymore. I’m scared. I feel alone.Could you give me any sign that things are going to be fine?
Always,
Song Hyeji
Maybe if all the people who was with her before she knew she grew up were still present, then maybe it would be a lot easier for her to accept all the events that took place. But things could never be the same anymore, couldn’t it? Because that’s life. We could only do so much of keeping up with what’s only left.
You took me on a plane and brought me to a place I’ve never been before. You were laughing loud as the heat of the sun kisses our skin. It’s just the two of us there and we have nothing to worry about. And I couldn’t help but cry because I woke up. It was just a dream.
I am as fine as someone who got kicked out can be. I am not special.
What are you saying? Of course you are special Haerinnie because I love you more than how I love chocolates! And I’ll keep you here forever with pepperos and lollipops if I have to.
I should be the one asking, are you alright?
Did your mother drop you on the head while you were a baby?No. First name. Haerin. What’s so difficult about calling people by their first names?
I’m okay. Are you?
But I like calling people differently especially when they’re special~
… Sorry kiddo. I’m allergic to that word don’t use it on me.
My mother’s son, not my younger brother. Why did you think I got kicked out of the house? Ok I walked out on my own accord. Anyway, she got herself a new money tree, don’t need me no more.
I probably make more money than he does but was that ever the point?
What word? BFF? You like noodle girl better then?
But if he’s your mother’s son, doesn’t that make him your… oh. Okay. I understand now. A new money tree? Her brother’s a money tree? She has a brother who is a tree? Something must be wrong. Haerinnie, are you okay?
Well… Then again he might never take you seriously so maybe not. Jinsu still sounds better than dragon alright. Haven’t you heard that guys like to be called ‘oppa’? Why not? Why should I have anything to do with you if you don’t want to take care of yourself?
And thanks… But I guess I have to discuss with my mother.
Never thought I would hear myself saying that.She might like to hear that her younger son is not the only one capable of schooling. Do I care? Nope, I don’t.
Oppa? I know.. but he’s way cooler than that. Hmm.. But you’re right. I should probably keep on calling him oppa.
Haerinnie! Why are you like that? You’re my BFF, you should take care of me forever too!!
I’m sure auntie would be happy for you Haerinnie… once she founds out. *smiles* Eh? But you never told me about your younger brother before, Haerinnie..
Are you going to consider calling him by his name? Maybe he’ll take you more seriously then. Anyway, I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again. Not going to be accountable for your safety anymore, understand little one? You want to get into trouble, you do it solo. I mean it.
Wasn’t that just an ability test? You mean, I’m going to get into college just like that because the Dean offered me a place? What about the void that is high school?
Ah. You think so? Kwon Jinsu… Jinsu Oppa! Hmm.. but should I just call him by his first name so he’d think I’m a tough girl? But Haerinnie, I only call him my dragon when I’m with other people… A-and.. you really can take that? Knowing that I’ll be in danger and you won’t do anything? Nuuuuu!
And don’t worry about that anymore. If you passed the test, you’re in! Appa’s the best so he knows what he’s doing.
